The Flood of Creativity & Questions…
For the past couple of months I’ve become brutally honest with myself, from questioning my choices to become a professional artist in the first place, to the increasingly disparaging thoughts of why I went to school and drove my future into personal debt crisis.
Starving artist? Not yet, but…
Although I love the creative voice this talent and education as afforded me, the fact is the majority of our society has discounted the arts as something that is not important enough to apply a financial worth to it.
I can’t help but to feel duped by the university arts program.
There should have been a greater focus on the business of art, the marketing and management of the talent. I could have done without some of the required history courses and AFO.
But, now I’m becoming angry, and that burn swelling inside is starting to focus my attention on the work’s evolution to a new way of looking and thinking about my art.
The fact is, I can’t “shut up”.
Not being able to paint just for the sake of painting, the work produced seems to always speak with some sort of “message”.
And this society doesn’t fuckin’ want to hear it.
If I were to completely flip and become an “abstract expressionist”, I’d be fooling myself and lying to the public just to try to sell art. I’ve been doing this work too long to change from being the artist wanted to be, to become something I’m not.
Employing the use of stencils in the current work has the effect making me excited about working again. Combining the use of my graphic design skills into the process has altered the way I paint, at the same time, helped me design differently as a graphic artist!
The deeper side of this evolutionary track, is what interested me in becoming an artist in the first place was the graffiti art in New York in the early 1980’s. For “street art” from the U.S. and Europe to begin influencing the work in 2011 has made a 360° turn to my creative life.
Although, to some it may seem like I’m jumping on the “street art movement” to create “salable” art without having the credentials of a criminal vandalism record. And even though I asked myself about the real reasons for the change, the conclusion is, if this is what I have to do to keep from abandoning the arts, it’s what I’m going to do.
I don’t need nor want a police record.
But now, when I see a piece of “public art”, graffiti, tag or a paste-up, I look at it differently. The person who took a chance, did not wait for a gallery to approve them to show their work to the public. Their mark is out on a wall, a fence, a train or on the side of a box van, being seen by society.
Like it or not, it “exists”.
As for the new direction, I welcome the inspiration from the “vandals”. I’m tired of waiting and sick of feeling suffocated, so damn the criticisms…from others and especially, from myself.
thanx for viewing…